Patti

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What Cancer CANNOT Do

Cancer is so limited….
It cannot cripple LOVE
It cannot shatter HOPE
It cannot corrode FAITH
It cannot destroy PEACE
It cannot kill FRIENDSHIP
It cannot suppress MEMORIES
It cannot silence COURAGE
It cannot evade the SOUL
It cannot steal eternal LIFE
It cannot conquer the SPIRIT

Author Unknown:.

September 27, 2007 - Thursday

My dear fried Patti
Current mood: crushed

This blog is about my friend, Patti Crispino. Patti lost her battle with breast cancer on November 8th 2005, just 6 days after her 41st birthday. I am not writing this blog about Patti’s experiences with anyone other than myself as she has touched sooo many that there wouldn’t be enough pages in the world to fill all of these memories, I am writing this blog to share my experiences with this amazing person that touched my life so much when she was alive and maybe to figure out why I am still greiving her. Hopefully by the end of this I will have answered my own question. Today, I went to her website www.patticrispino.com. I have been there several times, just to reminisce and look at her beautiful face and her wonderful daughter that she left behind when she was just 6. Patti and I met when my son, Tommy, started Kindergarten. Tommy and Isabella (Patti’s daughter) were friends and even more so, I found a friend in Patti. When Patti and I first met, I wasn’t too familiar with her illness as she never spoke of it or let me know the impending doom of a friendship that I was entering. Looking back, it was anything but doomed but I’m sure you know why I use that analogy. She was going to leave me, inevitably, and that she did. Patti and I would show up everyday to send our little angels off to school on the bus and talk for hours (always running late for something) but our conversations were great and never-ending. Any advice I would seek, she knew the answer and I always felt better afterwards. Tears stream down my face as I write this because it is raw emotion and I would give anything to wrap my arms around her and tell her just how much she meant to me just one more time. Not just one more time, I want her back now and I want her back forever, I know it’s selfish of me but I can’t help it. I apologize if this is random but my point shall come in the end. I remember Patti laughing at me one day because I wore my flip flops with socks to the bus stop…she thought it was hysterical so what do you know…the next day, Patti shows up to the bus stop with socks and flip flops on her own feet…to think she cared enough to make me laugh that day melts my heart. Thank you for that memory, Patti, I’ll always treasure those times. As our friendship progressed, Patti showed up at the bus stop one day with her tummy a little swollen. I joked to her that she was pregnant. I was about to get the shock of my life when I found out exactly what this was and why and how many trips to the hospital to get drained that this would eventually lead to.

I was kind of a recluse, never really wanted to go out so much, just kinda a homebody….Patti refused to let me be…ha! She included me in on many nights of wonderful fun in the city, in Media, down the beach even just out to dinner. Every single time, I remember. Patti would call and I would TRY to make up an excuse to skip out but I was not allowed. Patti made sure if she was having fun, I was right there next to her. Her illness never stopped her from having a good time, EVER. I have never seen anything like it.

Patti started chemotherapy, first it started off lightly. One time, only Patti and I will understand why but she took me to a dr’s appointment and of course, she knows someone there. We left there and had a beer and talked. I always asked Patti questions like “what’s next” and she always answered with an “I don’t know”. She continued to undergo draining and chemotherapy. At first, she didn’t lose her hair but eventually, it all fell out. Her gorgeous Auburn locks were no more but she rocked a scarf on her head like noone you have ever seen. Somedays, Patti was too sick to pick up Isabella so I would pick her up and take her home with me to play with Tommy. She would always ask for her mommy even though she loved spending time with us. Patti was the only person there for me any time of the day or night for anything. When I would stay with Patti, we would watch movies and laugh, smoke cigarettes (yup), talk, I would cry about my problems sometimes and now I look back and think, what in the hell were you doing you jerk, here is your friend, dying and your crying about your own problems…but she wouldn’t want it any other way. She was a helper, a great thinker and one of the bravest people I have ever known. I met many of her friends and we all became like family. She met Chuck, the man who would eventually hold her while she took her last breath, at the bar that we would go to on Saturday nights. I was there that night. I shared that first chance meeting with this stranger that would eventually become her rock.

As time went by quickly, we all tried to huddle around Patti, time was short and we all knew it. She pulled through alot but she was not going to pull through this. This was it. We planned a trip to Wildwood, NJ..one of Patti’s favorite places. I have honestly never had so much fun in my life. There was so much love and help and kindness and she was THERE to see us all. This was her celebration of life, this is what she wanted, not a funeral but a life with all of her friends in one place while she was still here. We made that happen and I am forever greatful that I was there. Shortly, thereafter, things got worse, Patti started to wilt but never her personality. Her birthday, 6 days before her death, I gave her a candle and a poem, one that her mother still has. She was very weak but still able. Then she went into the hospital. I went to see her. Never did I think it would be the last time. When I was leaving, her sister and Chuck told me to give her a kiss, she was sleeping. I told them I didn’t want to wake her but they insisted and I gave her the last kiss I would ever have the chance to feel her warm. She awoke and said I’ll see you at my house tomorrow as they were letting her go from the hospital to die at home, they gave her 3 days…..she made it 1. I NEVER got that chance to go to her house and see her until after she was gone. I remember calling and one of her friends telling me the news as I was on my way over her house. I have never cried so hard in my entire life. My heart was broken, along with many other people. However, this is my story and my peice of her that I hold dear.

When I looked at Patti’s website today, I saw a picture of her headstone that her mother had an artist working on for over a year. I was so honored, shocked, sad, happy, humble, hysterical and crushed all at the same time. There on her tombstone, is a picture of her friends, and I am one of them. Etched in stone, forever and eternity, I am Patti’s friend and always will be. That is such an honor, I can’t even put it into words. Patti I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I MISS YOU SO MUCH ALWAYS AND FOREVER. I know you’ve come to me in my dreams and we share something that many people didn’t even know but we knew it. We were best friends as you held each of your best friends dear, I will always hold you close to my heart. And so this song plays, as you wanted at your funeral, one of the hardest days of my life, this was your spirit and I will always remember it. Words can’t describe how I really feel but this is my best. Through all this heartbreak, you still shine bright in my mind.

I love you Patti Crispino,

RIP

Tara

If anyone wants to contribute to breast cancer, in honor of Patti or any other loved ones who have been affected by breast cancer please visit http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer/MSABCFY08SouthAtlantic/1657937089?pg=team&fr_id=3549&team_id=113370 and help us all find a cure.

Currently listening :
U2 - The Best of 1990-2000
By U2
Release date: 12 November, 2002

The Peppermint Patties will strut our stuff for this great cause again. Follow the link, join the Team. Hope to see you there.

“Peppermint Patti’s”

Please email me any pictures you may have of Patti or any photos of you and your family to post to this website.
Patti’s wonderful spirit remains alive in her friends and family. Let us continue celebrating life as Patti did.
GinaMaryVig@aol.com

Please join the Peppermint Patti’s on Sunday, May 20th in Essington (by the airport) for a walk to benefit Breast and Ovarian Cancer Research. Registration begins at 9am and the walk/race begins at 10am.

Our team is the Peppermint Patti’s and we walk in memory of Patti Crispino, friend and inspiration to so many, and my sister. Patti lost her 6 year fight against breast cancer on November 8, 2005. Her friends and family miss her and think of her every day. Even through her sickness, Patti was full of light and hope. This is our way of continuing her fight against this awful disease and coming together to remember her.

Please join us at Kelly Monaghan’s Pub in Essington, PA on Sunday, May 20th at 9am. Wear your tie-dye shirts to show your support for the Peppermint Patti’s. Last year we had a trememdous turnout for our team and we helped to raise a lot of money.

You can register online at http://www.runtheday.com/cgi-bin/register.cgi?r_id=71 or call one of the contact people listed below.

Kelly Monaghan’s Pub is located at 414 Powhattan Ave. Essington, PA. Please see the information listed below that was provided by Friends United for the Cure.

Friends United for the Cure

Kelly Monaghan’s Pub in Essington, PA
5/20/2007
Registration Opens @ 9:00 am
Race Starts @ 10:00 am

Congratulations to new parents Gina and Joe on the birth of Anna Patricia Vigilante.

Everything went fine. Mom and Dad and Anna are all doing well.

Born today February 22, 2007, at 2:05 A.M.. Weighing in at 5 lbs 6 oz and 19″ long.

A niece to Patti, a cousin to Isabella, and happiness for all of us.

While we each suffered a tragic loss a year ago, collectively we have done
a wonderful kindness by keeping our love and the memory of Patti alive.

Thank you for all you have done in enjoying and sharing the spirit of Patti’s life.

With Love and Appreciation from Patti’s Dad

Today in the News-Journal and the Daily Times:

In Memory of
Patricia Marie Crispino
November 8, 2005

Beloved Mother,
Friend and Daughter

www.patticrispino.com

Birthday party.
November 2nd, 2006 by tonyc

This evening there was a cheerful celebration of Patti’s birthday at Barnaby’s. It was great to see so many dear friends again; too many to mention by name, but little Brett was the youngest, Sally and Ron and their lovely children traveled the fartherest (from Alaska), Chuck called from the fartherest away (South Carolina), and Cindy e-mailed from the fartherest away (Texas). (and Lamont and Laurie are still the most missed dear friends).

The hugs, laughs and smiles were just what Patti wanted for us.